Chapter 2

I rested my head against the cold window, staring at the wall, thinking about what had happened days before. I kept seeing Sidney on the ground every time I closed my eyes, and hearing Gwyn on the phone. “It was the smoke that got her,” she’d said. I could hear the sorrow in the voice and imagined Sidney’s bright, cheerful mother and how I thought she’d never shed a tear over anything. There would be a funeral for Sidney in two days, and next week I was expected to return to school. Every time I thought about coming back to school I ended up crying. I couldn’t imagine walking down the halls, eating lunch, sharing gossip without Sidney. It didn’t seem fair that I could come back to school, when Sidney would never even see the school again. She had been the captain of the cheer leading squad since 9th grade, I had always made fun of her telling her she would be sucked into the life of the rich and spoiled kids who filled the positions in the school’s sports teams. Now I’m ashamed of how I treated her, I should have let her do what she wanted instead of teasing her nonstop, Sidney won’t ever cheer again. On Friday I dug out a dress Sidney had given to me for my sweet 16 and got ready for her funeral. I put very little makeup on, I knew I’d just cry it off anyway. My mother drove, when we got to the funeral home Gwyn greeted me with a big bear hug. Her eyes were red from crying and she kept wiping away tears that tried to run down her face. “Thank you for coming, I can’t imagine how hard this is for you Amy,” she said trying to smile. I hugged her back and replied, “I’m so sorry about what happened Gwyn...if only I hadn’t-” “No,” she said simply. “Don’t blame yourself for Sidney’s death, you didn’t know she was still inside. Paul and I understand that it was no one’s fault,” she paused to keep control of her voice. Eventually she managed to squeak out, “It was just her time.” After my mom had driven me home I went to my room and looked in the mirror. Beside my reflection was a picture taped on the mirror of Sidney and I when we went to camp in 6th grade. On the other side was a picture of us at Christmas when we were 5. I started crying then, remembering all the Christmas’s we’d shared together and all the ones she would miss. I cried until my mom came in and hugged me, and told me that everything would be okay.